Talkative, Qualitative Research, and Love

25 May 2010,
Today's lesson is about woman, love and qualitative research. What a strange combination..but let see how it goes..
I called my boyfriend this afternoon and doing the bla bla bla on the phone. he is in another island right now. Then i was talking about Anas Urbaningrum, the new leader of a political party in Indonesia. He was one of my former univ alumni. i kept saying blah blah blah till i heard my boyfriend murmured and grumbled he said in a pathetic voice, "i was going to tell you something but you keep talking so forget about it." i knew he was upset because of my talkative way of speaking. then he lost his mood to talk with me, either do i. i planned to hang up the phone but then after almost ten seconds i heard his lazy voice telling something. Then i said bye and he said bye in a very unpleasant voice..overall he was upset and it was not the first time we fought for my talkative way of speaking.
i dropped some tears..i was upset. he knows well i'm talkative..instead of just be patient he directly showed his dislike on my speaking. i switched off my mobile (for recharging actually). and i cried...i was having my period so ..easily become so emotional...that's nature.
Then i remember what my lecturer question,"Why women talk more than men?"
It is because naturally, woman are nurturer. She nurtures her children, she prepares, and guides, and teaches her children to do many things..and those things done by talking to her children.By talking not by doing the body language. Woman sings more than man as she tries to make her children feel comfortable in their bed to sleep. Woman asks the children to do this and that as a life-learning process...
So men, why are so grumbling about how talkative your partner is. If it's not the talking about somebody else talkativeness, criticizing all the time talkativeness, prejudice talkativeness, discriminative talkativeness..then why bother?
Sometimes i have too many words to say in my mind..it's just..naturally woman talks more than man.
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In the evening when i had my class, it was the qualitative research class, we were on a discussion about ethnography. ethnography is about find out more about people's behavior. We try to investigate to search certain kind of behavior of a specific things. In educational research, an example of ethnography study is when i know what makes the students noisy during the English class. i observe their behavior in the classroom. i try to find the meaningthat's the simple thing.
A qualitative research is about finding "the meaning." this is a good example for my lecturer Prof. Ngadiman, if you're in a relationship you want to know whether your boyfriend is really in love with you or not. you can not just see it. it is something intangible. you can not measure it by touching or seeing. you can measure it, you can assess it by get the meaning of whatever your boyfriend does. you try to know what does it mean when he gives you some presents for instance. This is an exploration to know the real him. to really know what love is. to really know whether he loves you or not. this is a qualitative research. you need to get the meanings upon some actions.
The most important thing, it won't take days or months...even years..or the rest of your life... A qualitative research takes longer time compare to quantitative research. you'll find out whether your partner really loves you during your dating time, then even after a marriage you'll find out whether he still loves you or not. If after 10 years he cheated you..you'll know that he doesn't really loves you. Then when will the "research" of his true love stop? Till death do both of you apart.
What a nice thing to correlate qualitative research to basic life matter..and it's just wonderful for me to know that the searching of true love will end when we die.
So lessons for today are:
1. I am talkative
2. Woman talks more than man because naturally she has been given nurture skill by God to raise, guide and protect her children.
3. Ethnography emphasis on people's behavior.
4. If you're a teacher try to find out what does the "noisy class" mean.
5. Qualitative research focus on the process not the product, it's about meaning
6. The real application of qualitative research is our romance journey.